Bullets are sprayed in the air
and I’m shot down
my smiles now are now replaced with frowns
my heart has been shot
feels like I’ve been stabbed in the back
a massive heart attack
has left me feeling like
one side of my body can’t sustain
as though I’m only half paralyzed with pain
because the other half has to maintain
that crippling facade that my
soldier soul can continue on
walking  strong
all the while my armor is ripped
from all the silent tears that drip
drop down onto the new badge
that replaced the one that use to flicker in the light
my new damaged sticker is in plain sight.

I’m the person that you put back on the shelf
the contorted version of yourself,
the one that no one else sees
the person with heavy insecurities
the one who can’t be found
the one chained and bound
to the sound of pure silence…

Didn’t Queen sing “another one bites the dust”
and yet, I feel like the one left in the dirt
with the blood of my mangled body on my shirt
the blood from cuts so deep
they won’t seem to heal,
body so cold, it can no longer feel
still crying even though I’m all cried out
trying to find a river to ease this drought
all the while you all see me and start to snicker
pointing and laughing at my damaged sticker.