Tag Archives: poem

Jan 7 2021

Just Friends? — Poetry

I’m not sure if I truly understand the ways of man…
Or maybe of those without mended wounds.

I wanted to turn me into an “us”, if just
for a brief moment where we could explore
our lust or shared desires.
But at the time that was ours, the interlude
was over before it could ever begin, so I think
were we ever supposed to be a thing?

Maybe we were best suited for our roles
before the whole ordeal — two people so wrapped
up in our heads that only others like ourselves
could possibly comprehend the many voices
which live within.

And even after our “never been” came to an end,
I still wanted for us to be friends.
But the distance that always existed only persisted
and it was as though we once again lived on the same
planet but in different universes.

I get it — women tend to be difficult to read,
but I was a book with the pages willfully exposed,
waiting for a reader to bring each chapter to a close.
And though our possibility has been tossed into the category
of ‘what could’ve been,” I’d still like to know within you
lies a friend.

(originally posted Jan. 7, 2017)

May 28 2013

Misled – Poetry

I don’t know when I became Miss Led.

Ms. Led on too damn long.

Ms. Led to sing that same god damn song.

When did I become the follower and forgot to lead?

When did I forgot the importance of my needs?

Last time I checked, there wasn’t a Mrs. in front of my name,

and I shouldn’t have to go through this round-about game.

I don’t know when I became Miss Led.

Ms. Led on the wrong path by the same ol’ guide.

Ms. Led to into believing truths when they continue to lie.

Ms. Led thinking that you’ll always be around.

Ms. Led thinking there was something good to be found.

Ms. Led always trying to see a better side of the same token.

Ms. Led thinking that we could possible fix what was once broken.

I don’t know how I became Miss Led…

Especially when it’s not my name.

 

 

 

Dec 21 2012

Playing Games – Poem

Amazing-
I consistently find myself in these awkward situations
amused by seemingly promising and provoking conversations
then left in a state of silent infatuation
degraded,
deflated.

I’ve opened Pandora’s box and find the lid too heavy to shut
second guessing,
ever questioning,
the mixed feelings and anxiety wrestling restlessly in my gut.

Stalking,
gawking,
looking for some glimmer of a response, a clue, to find
what’s going on to give a little ease to the thoughts in my mind
hoping to put these puzzle pieces in a straight line.

Confused,
at first amused, but now bemused
I refuse to be in this trapping contraption
attracted by attention and undone by dejection
waiting for the other shoe to drop – or should I say
flip-flop.

Phasing,
getting ready to start the process of fading,
putting memories into the furthest recesses for bating
as I can no longer provide energy to keep concentrating
on my infallible ability to attract derogating.

No more debating.
No more waiting,
tired of being the patient to this impatient torture of never knowing what lies beneath
just to learn there’s nothing below the surface that I seek.
Tired of being the mouse-turn-cat in this chase
just to end up losing the race.

This time I’m resigning from the game before the stakes get to high
no poker face
no saving grace
I fold and leave without the little tid-bits I’ve already sold.

Dec 19 2012

No More – Poetry

Some days I wonder to myself
“What’s the use?”
the back and forth’s been
going around in circles
and we can never get to a
point of parallel lines –
going forward with no
inteferring intersection.

It’s humorous how time
can make barely existing
troubles stew into
never ending shouting matches –
dreams disappear and from
the shadow of doubt
nightmares take its place.

Why do we bother?
What love do we have to keep us
united when silence slowly
tears us apart and we both don’t
care to mutter words to keep it
together.

What we once had was beautiful,
but it seems almost impossible
to recover, it seems like
“Once Upon A Time,” we were
requited lovers.

But now, the dust has settled
and what we had feels lost.
The stars are going and maybe
it’s time we finally made our lives
uncrossed.

Dec 11 2012

All I Ask Of You – Poem

I don’t ask for much.

Give me some time, any moment you can spare.
Give me some attention, so I won’t have to share.
Just a kiss or two when you’re standing close.
Just the trail of your finger going down my nose.

I don’t ask for flowers – I don’t care for roses.
I don’t ask for love letters – I don’t need your proses.

I don’t ask for much.

I don’t need dinners at fancy restaurants.
Your arms wrapped around me is all I can want.
Your hands on my stomach as we go off to sleep.
Your laughter in my ear as we watch some TV.

I don’t ask for rings- jewelry is not my thing.
I don’t ask for money – I don’t cost a thing.

I don’t ask for much.

Just hold on real tight and don’t let me go.
Kiss my neck and nibble on my earlobe.
Hold my hand when we walk down the street.
Give me your lap whenever I need a seat.

I don’t ask for your name – I’ve got my own.
I don’t ask for any toys – I’m way too grown

I ask for your lips, so that I can have them to kiss.
I ask for your heart, so I know that I’m missed.
I ask for arms, so I can keep your embrace.
I ask for your eyes, and the contours of your face.
I ask for your skin, your voice and the wonder of it all.
I ask for you  during spring, winter, summer and fall.

Oct 12 2012

Update – Same Ol’ Same Ol’

Hello all,

Felt it was time I did an update. It’s not going to be pleasant, so here it is:

Haven’t written anything new, in regards to my novel. As you may have noticed, I have been posting poems and bits of prose more often. Things I actually thought you’d like…as it was a constant stream of literary work from the brainchild that is MOI. Guess not. BUT, it’s a step in the right direction, as I’ve been actively writing/typing.  But alas, I haven’t added much to the novel. Does that mean I will stop writing it?

NO!

As a matter of fact, I’m actually holding out from writing a lot more on the Game of Hearts novel because I plan on using it as the foundation for NaNoWriMo this year. That’s write right! I will be participating in NaNoWriMo this year and I intend on completing this novel or at least the required amount of pages/words this year.

Aside from that, I wrote a poem for the first time in a long time. And I mean wrote – as in physically held a pen in my hand and placed it to paper and let ink run out on the page. It felt good. At first it seemed forced, but then it all of a sudden took a life of its own. Don’t know if I want to type it up though. Doesn’t seem like you guys are too keen on my poetic outlet =\

Anyway…that’s what I got so far. I’m currently working on some non-literary projects which takes my time away, but I’ll  keep you entertained.

Sep 25 2012

i should tell u – poetry

there’s so much i want to tell you
…i should tell you…i should tell you…
but i fear that you’ll think me weird.
i’m scared really that maybe you’ll see me
in the way that i see you,
fresh like the misted dew but
…i should tell you…i should tell you…
that whenever we’re together, i feel this spark,
little flickers of light sparkling in the dark
like a mini fourth of july just unraveling on the inside
and i desperately try to hide the twinkling in my eyes though…
…i should tell you…i should tell you
when you’re not around my little world dissolves…
into a jumble of mathematical equations I can not solve,
tumbling with grey overcasts and gusts of winds so brisk that
I sincerely yearn for the warmth of your kiss and something like this
…i should tell you, i should tell you…
you mean more to me than an early morning sunrise,
more than God’s green earth, the color painted skies,
you are my eden, my utopian paradise…but i
…i should tell you that i…
would love to have you, for more than forever
to hold on to you and let go never,
i couldn’t ever sever the bond that we’d share
and all the while i truly fear…if…
…i should tell you…i should tell…
i see your face more often that you think,
i see your eyes when i close mine to blink,
and I can just sink into a moment of reverie…
whenever I picture you next to me and
the thought of what we could ever be…
…if i could tell you…i should tell you…
Sep 20 2012

Killing – Poetry

I don’t know where I was going with this…it kind of just came out some time ago…

Killing

She just sits, staring, sighing, silent, alone

No one to help her get over the fact that she’s quietly dying at home,

Shit – she is the real reason that I’m writing this poem.

Blank faces, contemplating, never smiling, forced but not appreciated the way she takes care of another woman’s child and,

The pain that spews from his mouth is anything but mild and,

Wishes taking her back to when she was child again,

Wanting to genuinely smile but then,

Present situations violently hit her membrane,

Wanting to keep her cool but past instances temps to drive her insane,

Her cool was never too cool more like an Iraqi’s bomb,

Explosive attitudes ticking,

She calms, and thinks about her mom,

Trials and tribulations that took place in and out her home,

No one here for her defense or to tell them that they’re wrong,

Voice of a songbird she doesn’t even sing a song,

It’s more like she cries it,

Pushing and packing them boxes with bloodshot eyelids,

She told herself she would always push through the odds when,

They ever met her,

So stealing and raping her cheddar she said to them, “that’s ok, one day I promise, I’ll do better,”

But those noisy nights have never seen cheeks any wetter.

Aug 26 2012

Untitled Musings #1

I had visions of a girl
dancing in the moonlight, on the orange-kissed earth.
Feathers at her feet, glitter in the air,
the scent of ripened raspberries combing her hair with
bits of leaves tangled in her mane.

Who was she? Continue reading →

Aug 24 2012

Thoughts from a linear place – Poetry

This poem is a response to a piece I read called “Thought from a Spotfilled Mind.” My poem doesn’t do the original justice, but enjoy anyway. 

I was thinking of you today.

I know, it such a ‘girl thing’ to say, but it’s true.
To be honest I was thinking about you looking at me that way you do…all filled with your silently manly love.
I was thinking of you looking at me.
It’s pretty damn often that I do this.
I was thinking of a way to possibly keep you in that glance for forever and a lifetime. I love that look on your face.
I want you to remain in that space.
I’d have it no other way. I want you to stay. I want you to want me to stay.

I want to lay with you, play with you. I want you to suggest sex at the most inappropriate time just to make me agitated. I want you to roll your eyes and look away when I talk about gaining weight (that I probably didn’t gain in the first place). I want you to walk past me in your football tee during the season and ignore me during the game. Then when it’s over tell me you love me just the same. I want to lay in bed and push my booty up against you. Then I want to feel your morning wood on my ass and pretend to be disgusted. “You guys can’t ever get enough?!” I’d say. Then you’d reply “Don’t blame me, we’re just made that way.” I want to watch you while you sleep. I want to wrap my arms around you while I’m asleep. I want to cry on your chest on days I can’t take anything anymore. Then hog the covers on days you get me really sore. And on days you’re sick, listen to how loud you snore. My poor baby. I want you to comfort me. I want you to come for me. I want to watch you scratch your chest when you wake up. I want to hear you yawn when you’re ready to sleep. I want to burp like a guy and see your look of pride. I want to ask a question that’ll make you run and hide. I want to laugh with you. Even when the jokes aren’t that funny. I want to catch you looking at some kind of porn. Then hide the fact that I’m secretly turned on.I want to get mad at you when you look at another girl and put your arm around me to assure me I’m the only one. I want to yell at you when you don’t wash your dishes. I want to hold your hand when I shop for pads. I want to occasionally hint you that someday you’ll be a great dad. I want you to rub my stomach when I have cramps. I want you to get turned on watching me lick stamps. I want to collapse on top of you after great sex. I want to have sex when you get mad at me so you’ll forget. I want to get mad at you when I think you forgot a special day. Then I want to blush when you send me flowers for no reason. I want you to slap my ass when you pass me by in the kitchen. I want you to rub my exposed legs when we’re eating out with friends. I want to see you throw your hands up in the air when you know you’re losing the fight. I want to see you at night. Every night. For the rest of our lives. I want to watch you drive around in circles when you won’t admit you need directions. And then see the look of joy on your face when we get to our destination. I want to order beers for you. I want to say prayers for you. I want to keep you safe. I want you see you rush in the morning when you’re late. I want to smile for you. I want to smile because of you. I want to get in lingerie for you. I want to end my day with you. I want to mate with you. Create with you. Have babies for you and raise those babies with you. I want to look at your face, amazed at the miracle I couldn’t have done without you. I want to sing for you. Put a ring on you. I want to be everything for you. I want to be your best friend. I want to be your lover. I wan to be so good to you, you forget your mother. I want to be with you. In you. I want to be so wrapped up in love with you that you see me when you look at the letters on a page. I want you to close your eyes and see my face. I want to go there baby with you. I want you to be here with me too. Lord there’s so much more I can say, but I was thinking about this when I thought of you today…