Tag Archives: dating

Jan 7 2021

Just Friends? — Poetry

I’m not sure if I truly understand the ways of man…
Or maybe of those without mended wounds.

I wanted to turn me into an “us”, if just
for a brief moment where we could explore
our lust or shared desires.
But at the time that was ours, the interlude
was over before it could ever begin, so I think
were we ever supposed to be a thing?

Maybe we were best suited for our roles
before the whole ordeal — two people so wrapped
up in our heads that only others like ourselves
could possibly comprehend the many voices
which live within.

And even after our “never been” came to an end,
I still wanted for us to be friends.
But the distance that always existed only persisted
and it was as though we once again lived on the same
planet but in different universes.

I get it — women tend to be difficult to read,
but I was a book with the pages willfully exposed,
waiting for a reader to bring each chapter to a close.
And though our possibility has been tossed into the category
of ‘what could’ve been,” I’d still like to know within you
lies a friend.

(originally posted Jan. 7, 2017)

Dec 21 2012

Playing Games – Poem

Amazing-
I consistently find myself in these awkward situations
amused by seemingly promising and provoking conversations
then left in a state of silent infatuation
degraded,
deflated.

I’ve opened Pandora’s box and find the lid too heavy to shut
second guessing,
ever questioning,
the mixed feelings and anxiety wrestling restlessly in my gut.

Stalking,
gawking,
looking for some glimmer of a response, a clue, to find
what’s going on to give a little ease to the thoughts in my mind
hoping to put these puzzle pieces in a straight line.

Confused,
at first amused, but now bemused
I refuse to be in this trapping contraption
attracted by attention and undone by dejection
waiting for the other shoe to drop – or should I say
flip-flop.

Phasing,
getting ready to start the process of fading,
putting memories into the furthest recesses for bating
as I can no longer provide energy to keep concentrating
on my infallible ability to attract derogating.

No more debating.
No more waiting,
tired of being the patient to this impatient torture of never knowing what lies beneath
just to learn there’s nothing below the surface that I seek.
Tired of being the mouse-turn-cat in this chase
just to end up losing the race.

This time I’m resigning from the game before the stakes get to high
no poker face
no saving grace
I fold and leave without the little tid-bits I’ve already sold.

Oct 30 2012

Untitled Musings #4

She came over to my apartment, and I couldn’t help but feel a little anxious. We’d been dating for some weeks and I have to admit that I really like her. I’ve always liked her really. I’d known her for a while, but just never really had the nerve to ask her on a date. When I did, we hit things off so well that it only made sense to keep dating. When she kissed me, I knew that I didn’t want to stop kissing her. And the way she looked at me – some kind of twinkle in her eye, biting her bottom lips and a blush on her cheeks – just only reassured me that I was right to ask her out again. Continue reading →

May 7 2012

Something – Entry 4

“something heavenly led me to you…”

It was actually the internet.  I was bored and wanted to make new friends, however, my not-so-apparent self-loathing kept me from just walking up to people, or stalking cute guys like the girls I hung out with. So, I rummaged through social networking sites and found him. We had gone to the same high school and his face looked vaguely familiar. I figured, “why not?” and messaged him.

And he messaged me back. Continue reading →