Elf & His Princess – Fan-Fiction (Orlando Bloom)

In high school, I had the HUGEST crush on Orlando Bloom and had high hopes of someday meeting him, granted I never had money to follow him around, or knew of any ways to get myself near him or around him. I wrote him a letter to his fan club once, but never sent it in because I knew that it wasn’t going to HIM directly, but to the person who was in charge of his fan club and they would probably send me back some photo of him with a stamped signature to appease me. That wouldn’t be enough. So, I wrote this story for my personal pleasure.

“The Elf and His Princess”

 A Mock Interview of a Fictitious Relationship between Alj Augustine and Orlando Bloom for a the fake OPAL magazine.

In the “Lord of the Rings” movie trilogy, the young Legolas Greenleaf was unable to succumb to the power of the “one ring,” but no one would suspect that actor Orlando Bloom would fall so gracefully for one lovely lady.  At one time, a  young 25-year-old  Bloom was the lord of every female’s heart but now a still beautiful, a 34-year-old Bloom is now only romancing one woman in his life. Sitting down in the couple at his four-bedroom Los Angeles beachside home wearing a white wife beater and blue jeans, Bloom stretches an arm behind him, motioning for the lady in question – Alj Augustine – to come sit next to him as the interview begins.

Back in 2005, Bloom participated in a contest where one lucky high school senior would have him escort her to her prom. Then, 18-year-old Alj Augustine was the winner. Bloom drove to Augustine’s home in Brooklyn, NY and escorted her alongside her classmates to her senior prom.  Then, no one knew that this seemingly harmless act, would’ve led to something more.

OPAL Magazine: So, we know how you guys first met, but when did you know that you were in love? 

Alj Augustine: That’s easy,– the first time I saw his face on a computer screen, I knew I was in love! [she laughs] If you’re referring to the first time we met face-to-face, I was eighteen, graduating high school. I mean, I know it sounds like a fan thing to say, but I was sitting in the limo with the guy who I thought was everything I wanted. And while striking up a conversation was hard, when I finally broke the ice, I mean, I got to know more about him that…made me realize how much of a beautiful person he really is and I couldn’t help but love him, although nothing started until three years later.

Orlando Bloom: To be honest, was really attracted to her when I first saw her. She looked beautiful in her dress and to this day, I can remember how nervous she was when finally met. But, at the time, she was still quite young and I knew she was college bound and it just didn’t seem to add up then, but I knew I wanted to be her friend, so we stayed in contact and over the next couple of years, I grew to love her even more.

OPAL: How exactly was the ice broken that night? 

A.A.: This is really corny, but um, when Orlando called me ‘beautiful,’ I responded, ‘lle naa vanima.’

O.B.: Which I detected as ‘elvish’ and so I was stunned.

OPAL: Yeah, that is kind of corny

O.B.: Yeah, [laughing] we know. But, if it wasn’t for that moment, I don’t know how else we would’ve started our conversation. She was nervous and I was trying me best to keep my eye off of her, respectfully that is.

OPAL: Okay, so after that night, it took three years for the fire to re-kindle. How did that happen?

A.A.: Well, what happened was that on prom night he gave me his personal email address so I could contact him and keep in touch. And over the next few months we would talk to each other, mostly about me adjusting to school and him adjusting to his new life in LA, so I mean we were still pretty close in that respect. I mean, I always maintained my crush on him, but it grew to another level as I got to know him as a person as opposed to the “superstar” you know? Anyhow, a couple years ago, when I found out he was on location in New York, I contacted him in hopes that we’d finally MEET up again.  So we spoke over the phone a couple times and met up for lunch whenever we could and just took things really slow. I mean, for the most part, we were just really good friends. Then about a year after that, he asked me to come out and help him pick out a house here in L.A. I came and I saw this place and we both agreed on it and it was then that he told me that he secretly loved me and wanted me to be with him and I readily said ‘Hell Yeah!’

OPAL: So, just like that you asked her to move in with you?

O.B.: Ah, yeah I did. I felt it was kind of one of those now or never moments, you know? I had already made up my mind that I wanted to be with her and she was finishing up school and hadn’t been anywhere else so it was pretty simple -move in with me.

OPAL: And when you decided to make the move out to L.A., what was that like? 

A.A.: My thing was, I was finishing up school and I didn’t want to do the long distance thing, you know? I mean, when was I ever going to have a chance to be with a guy like him again? So, I made the big leap and came here. I figured, I could find work here and have my guy and be happy all in one place. I mean, [the move] was a big shock to my family, but I felt more responsible, independent and scared. [As she continues to talk, her fingers now intertwined in Blooms, playing with his special elven ring with the inscription “where ever it may lead”] What if we broke up? What would I do?  I was miles away from Brooklyn, my home, my family, my old life. How was going to make it if he decided he’d made a mistake choosing me to be his girl?

OPAL: Wasn’t it also pretty tricky because at about this time there were rumors of Orlando Bloom and his ex-girlfriend [Kate Bosworth] being together again? 

O.B.: God yes, it was tricky. The press is pretty ridiculous in that sense. Kate and I are pretty good friends, we speak with each other and what not but I guess the photographers got some photos and splashed it all over like we were getting back together when nothing of the sort was going on. I wanted to bloody sock someone, but Alja came through. [He smiles and looks over at her. She rubs his arms and kisses his palm]

OPAL: You guys sure put those rumors to rest after recently being featured as one of OPAL’s “Cutest Couples.” Congratulations on that! 

A. A.: No, thank you!  It was great when we were featured in the magazine. I think we shut a lot of people up that night when those photos came out…I know a lot of my friends from high school were stunned! [She laughs heartily] I knew we looked good together and I know the press was pleasantly surprised to NOT see Ms. Bosworth in the photos!


A.A.: Yes, it was! It was based on a sketch I made in high school that I showed Orli over here and he thought it would be a really nice pice, so we got some fabric and had it made and it came out beautifully.

OPAL: What do you think was the most shocking reaction you guys received after the spread?

O. B.: I remember when people looked at me and her  they would say “oh she’s so young.”  At the end of the day, age didn’t really mean anything to me after we met the second time. She was a twenty-one year old woman willing to share her up coming moments in her life with me,” says Bloom. “That’s all that mattered.”

A.A.: Most people I know were like “OMG, you’re dating Orlando Bloom!! Why didn’t you tell me?!” To which I said, “It ain’t none of your damn business.”

We take a brief moment. Augustine insists that we relax for a while. She offers a dish that was native to her called Pellou. “I only make enough for me,” she says privately. “Orli doesn’t eat meat.” It’s a dish of cooked rice, chicken and beef and tastes quite delicious. Food is eaten in the couple’s stainless steel kitchen as Blooms runs to the back room.

“My cousin visited last week and left her pack of cigarettes,” she says. “He’s been tempted ever since she left. Nine years since he’s given up smoking but sometimes he just sees one and wonders what it tastes like.” Otherwise, she notes he’s “sound as a pound.” We resume the interview after about ten minutes of relaxation. Coming back to the chair, Augustine runs her fingers through his brown bushy curls and giggles. “If anyone told me I’d be playing with Orlando Bloom’s hair, I’d laugh.”

He kisses her hand, and the interview resumes.

OPAL: What are some of the things you guys love about each other? 

A.A.: Me first! [Bloom playfully rolls his eyes] Ok, well, I love the fact that he can wake up one morning and just say ‘I feel to be bald’ and shaves. I also love his injuries. For instance, I love that he didn’t let his back incident hold him down in a wheel chair. I love how he’s wear suit pants and go with a regular t-shirt and a ’40’s styled hat and wear that look all day. I love that he and I love the nature’s essence. I love fantasy, and nature, tress and the color green  and I love that because he knows I love these things, he does things to keep the theme alive.

O.B.: Well, I love her. I love the fact that she designs some of the most beautiful outfits for herself. And that she wears them with pride. I love that she feels comfortable in anything she wears (like me). I love how she puts on my shirts and how big they look on her but she still looks gorgeous and how she dances!  Oh how she dances,” he continued “when I put on one of my albums. She just goes to the music, you know? Other girls would just sit and act all snobby, but she’d wear one of my shirts and dance around.

[Bloom lovingly gazes at her and then jumps out of thought]  My back. She plays with the scar on my back. She follows it with her her finger and it’s just so, I guess, sensual to play with something that others may think of as a blemish or an imperfection, you know? OH,  and my dog Maude. Maude comes to her quicker, actually. I love Maude and Maude loves her more, now that she’s here. That’s what I love about my Alja.

OPAL: Is there anything especially special that you guys have done/do together?

A.A.: He’s such the romantic!  [She gasps, beaming like a light bulb] He knows about my LOTR fascination, [pulling at the shirt she’s wearing] so he flew me out to London to one of his friends’ home some months ago. And this friend has just acres of land and so Orli just runs up behind me, dressed in this casual easy-breezy number and we walked and finally he scoops me up and runs over to this tree.


 O.B.: Yeah, so I take her to the tree, where we just sit and talk and from this tree we can see the sunset behind a hill on the property. And as it sets, I look at her face so attentive and emotionally satisfied in the moment. It was then I knew I made the right decision.

OPAL: And this decision you refer to is to one to marry her…

[He nods. Stretching out her hand to me before I could even ask to see the ring, Augustine show’s a platinum band of leaves and a four carat marquis cut diamond.]

A.A.: I was completely shocked.

O.B.: First it was leaf shaped, and then it was an engagement ring. [He chuckles] For about five minutes straight, she stared at it, in just awe. Then two minutes later, she slipped it on her finger, kissed me and we just watched the sunset. When we got back to L.A. we were in a bubble for the entire weekend.

 A.A.: Yeah, we were pretty tired after that!

OPAL: So, who were the first people to know about the engagement?

 A.A.: Only close friends and family of course knew at the time. You know we didn’t let the public know until about two months ago, because they like to add and twist up stories.

OPAL: Do you guys have a possible wedding date?

A.A.: March 16th of this year. We’re going somewhere small, cozy, quaint, nothing big or fancy. Just an intimate affair. Don’t want any papparazzi in our face on our wedding day.

 OPAL: How did your parents respond to the news? 

O.B.: Well my mum was kind of shocked because she never really thought that I’d get married. She just prayed someday I’d meet the right girl, and when I did, she jumped for joy.

A.A: My mom had two words: grand-babies!

OPAL: Speaking of which, there’s a rumor going around that you two are expecting? 
O.B.: [He leans in to Augustine] Do you want me to answer this question for you?
A.A: No, I’ll do it. Actually, the rumors are both true and false. I did get pregnant about two months ago after we announced the engagement, but then I miscarried because of an accident I had. I am right now several weeks pregnant with my fiancee’s child.

OPAL: WOW! Congrats you guys! Have you two picked out any names for the baby?

O.B.: If it’s a girl, Aeryn Jada Dylen Bloom. And if it’s a boy, Ian Orlando Anthony Bloom. Our parents are really excited. Her mum, my mum, they all wanted grandchildren and now they have one on its way.

[Augustine looks on affectionately as Bloom speaks about the child. He caresses her stomach, that has not begun to show signs of a pregnancy.]

A.A.: He was overly happy as well, I mean, after the miscarriage I was pretty depressed, partly because of the car accident and then because we lost the baby…but he stayed strong, and convinced me that the [we lost]  baby wasn’t going to be the last of our children together.

OPAL: We’re sorry to hear about your loss. Could you two please elaborate more on this accident that happened? 

A.A.: It happened overseas like I mentioned about two months ago. Pretty much, some asshole rammed into my car coming from some nightclub in London while we were over there celebrating our engagement with Orli’s family. I was driving back to his family estate, after meeting some of our mutual friends in London and then ‘boom.’ There went my baby.

[Bloom starts to tear up]

O.B.: It was an emotional time for the two of us, but [he holds her hand in his and kisses her palm] we have a lifetime together to look forward to, to create better memories.

SO! That’s it. That’s pretty much where I ended that story. I always wanted to finish it, but between Orlando getting with Kate Bosworth and my own high school sob stories, I never returned to this fantasy of mine.  Initially, I wanted this to be the notes of an interview (hence all the cinematic sidebars) though I can’t imagine anyone being that candid in an interview. Anywho, hope you enjoyed, laughed or something. 



One comment on “Elf & His Princess – Fan-Fiction (Orlando Bloom)

  1. Hi there! This is my first comment here so I just wanted to give a quick shout out and tell you I genuinely enjoy reading through your posts. Can you suggest any other blogs/websites/forums that deal with the same subjects? Thank you so much!

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