I no longer know what you want me to do.

I think of things long and hard, wondering what to make better

I’m always saying sorry, creating mountains of “sorry”s so that you may feel better,
so that things can be better, so that ‘we’ can be ‘right.’

No longer does my heart take flight.

It’s weighted down with doubts about ‘us,’ because if this was truly love, we’d both feel free.
Not like the sullen prisoners we’ve both become, drowned in our own world of silence.

Where are the words? Where is the forgiveness?

What ever this is, it’s provided no provisions for our love to survive, it’s all who’s wrong or right and I’m tired of this long internal fight.

One day we’re fine and the next we’re strangers, only after moments of intoxicating elation are we relating but then when it’s gone
I’m back to debating one if this is worth waiting for…

It doesn’t seem to be getting any better…

I’m tired of thinking that we can change or that things will be as they were before.
I don’t want to feel something fake between us anymore.